Authorities in the European Union have sent out a warning, alerting television viewers Europe wide that any news emanating from Belgium may be highly suspect, and may contain viral marketing messages. The warning came after viewers of a Belgium public television station experienced chaos, mayhem, and anarchy, as they were treated to images of their [...]
The Market took out its revenge on price drops in the fast food sector today as panicking investors sent the price of futures in scallions through the market floor. “Ive got my marriage, my house, my kids health insurance on scallions, and one [deleted] on the table here…”, Mike Toonsbury of the London Footsie Exchange [...]
Secretary of Defense Don Rumsfeld finished off his salutation to a group of freshmen at the University of Georgia with a quote from Shakespeare: “To cut… perchance to run.. ayeee there is more rubble.” The rubble Mr. Rumsfeld was referring to was the remains of armored US personal carriers and Bradley fighting vehicles which line [...]
The word “mammoth” may soon be extinct. Scientists frustrated by the vague language in the use of the word have called for its eradication. “We are tired of having to say Mammoth Bones Discovered. We use that phrase to describe T. Rex bones, which are decidedly mammoth. But these mammothologists come in and confuse the [...]
